So Many Frozen Refrences

The weather's become a bitter cold

And my fingertips are constantly numb.

They say it's from bad circulation

 but my hands were always warm

When you held them.

It's cold enough to see my breath

but maybe I'm just seeing the ghost 

of kisses that made the air thin even in summer

Ironically, I only kissed you once this summer.

I guess this isn't the first time

 my heart has ached for you.

and I'm tired of the constant freeze you put on my heart.

Because every time you leave,

It stops.

And I forget how to live.

I forget what its like to sigh in a moment of bliss.

I forget what adrenaline feels like running though my body

I forget what it feels like to write about something happy.

March 23rd was the last time I did.

Maybe the worst tragedy of all, 

Some days I forget what it was like to laugh with you

The one thing that makes me feel most alive in this world.

You're gone.

And I spend my time with friends,

We build fires and go for rainy day drives...

But I spend every moment wishing I was doing them with you.

I get home to only light a candle,

put on your favorite band T- shirt

and remember you through my headphones.

God I miss you.

And I'm afraid your hands are the only ones that can restart my circulation

I want so so badly to be happily in love.

But I also want it to be with you.

I'd be lying to myself if I said that the cold never bothered me

But I can't figure out if I need to let it go...

or continue to endure this endless tundra.

In hopes of one day, 

the distance between us melts.