Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You

I finally understand why 
everyone is so afraid of love.

It's not the fear of "falling" 
 or the fear that he won't be there 
to catch her when she does.

It's not the fear of "walking on cloud 9",
the fear of real happiness felt for the first time;
After-all, she'd been miserable for so long...

What does she do once she's happy?

It's not the fear of "The End"
the goodbye that hits harder than bullets
and does more damage than war.

It's not even the fear of "The Lasts":
the last time she saw his dimples
or last trace of him felt on her skin.

It's certainly not the fear of "Longing";
Missing him in every melody she hears,
not being able to escape the ache in sleep.

Cause even dreams have a wicked way of reminding her.

It's not the fear of having to "Start Over";
trying to pick up her heart dust, and forget him,
forget the way he told her "I love you" in tangled sleep.

Forget. Because he doesn't love her now.

No, none of these are reasons people are afraid of love,
Although they certainly are part of the real reason.

The real reason people are afraid
 begins once all these stages end

The falling
           the happiness
             the end
                   the lasts 
                                 and longing, 
                                              the starting over.


People are afraid of the Hope.
that one day, they might end up together.
The Hope that never fades.


It's the fear that she can start over,
Be content and happy with someone new,
Ring on her finger, sleeping next to new love.

Yet she lies awake and still thinks of him.

Him.

Him, with the long eyelashes and rough hands
Him, who sang country songs in her ear
Him, who wrote her handwritten letters in cursive

Him, who left a tattoo on her heart

Shaped like a hand-print.


People are afraid of the permanent mark they leave.

I should have been afraid. 
I should have been terrified.


 And now I know why.


















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