Mix Tape of You and I

Girls dream of boys giving them a Mix tape

And you and I started one the day we met.

In cursive handwriting, you wrote a list

of the songs you were dying for me to hear.

Eric Church, 

Eli Young Band 

My Chemical Romance

Johnny Cash, 

Tracy Chapman, 

Angels and Airwaves

These were your picks that added to the list.

Ed Sheeran

Gregory Alan Isakov

Were your favorites of mine.

You never knew I watched you  as titled the list "Thinking of Her."

Only, we didn't realize it was only the beginning 

of  a compilation of music simply titled "Love."

And we fell in love deeply, the playlist became our background noise.

and our lips seemed to fall in rhythm to it as we kissed to its beat.

But sooner or later, every song on the list ended.

And in march you took the playlist with you,

not sure anymore of the music it once played. 

I held on to every note, and every measure

and held my breath as I listened to the lyrics alone.

I took a sharpie and re-titled the mix-tape "Why?"

And its questions and fear played on repeat for months.

But that didn't stop me from replaying the music we once made. 

And I didn't dare push the skip button. 

I wonder the moment you heard our playlist,

the moment you remembered it's beauty.

Was it playing in a grocery store?

or play from the radio in Truck 120? 

Did you go searching  for the music?

Hoping to find me in the words?

I saw you for the first time yesterday,

since you left me with the soundtrack of wonder and doubt.

But the ambient noise was  silenced

the moment the spaces between my fingers 

Were filled with yours.

And for the first time

Since you left I understood...

As scarred as your hands were,

Their spaces longed to be filled too.

And the nerve endings were revived through our fingertips

enough for our veins to carry love to its chambers,

Where it felt at home.

Our hearts came to an agreement

distance felt cold on our lips

Maybe that's why you kissed me at first embrace.

and why the mix-tape voices stopped.

 in that moment, I realized quiet was the most beautiful sound.

Girls dream of boys giving them mix-tapes.

And yesterday you silenced my fears,

and gave me the playlist titled "stillness."

It's the best gift you have ever given me.